Domestic Violence Pregnancy

A Note to my Daughter in Preparation for her Life in a Trump World

How the Woman's March changed my life, and how a children's book reminded me of that as I grow to fear parenthood.


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I know, my daughter still has ten weeks before she’s born. And even when she arrives, she won’t be affected by society for many years to come.

trumpAnd yet I already worry about her.

She’ll have a single mother, one who’s going to work hard to make sure she has all that she wants. She has a mother who walked away from the abuse of a husband. She will be completely surrounded by strong women and good men at home, doing their best to guide her in life.

But that’s the problem. She won’t always be home.

She’ll be born into a world where history is still being made, good and bad. We have a president who boasts about sexually harassing women. But we also live in a world where Weinsteins and Nassars can no longer hide.

And is it so wrong that I wish her complexion favors her white father? So she doesn’t have to experience what it’s like to be viewed as Mexican in Trump’s World?

I’ve been putting off purchasing any items for the baby.

I didn’t want to jinx her existence. Even now, in my third trimester, I lay awake at night, terrified she can be taken from me. Whether it be a car accident, a stillbirth, my husband seeking revenge; it’s haunted my nights.

But one day after work, my mother took myself and my brother to Barnes and Noble to browse. And I couldn’t resist the children’s section. And there I found a book that made me realize something. She’ll be strong because I am.

I found The Pink Hat by Andrew Joyner.

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And it reminded me just what the Women’s March 2017 did for me.

I brought the book home, along with a couple of others, proud that my first purchase for my daughter was about a pink hat. And then I opened the cover and wrote her a note.

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Don’t mind the unamused pitbull in the background! And since my writing is too small to read, this is what I wrote to her:

My Darling Daughter,
My Genevieve Ramona. 
I hope when you’re old enough, you can appreciate the significance the day had on not just the world, but on me. on Jan. 21, 2017, your grandmother and I marched with millions of people to stand up for rights; Women’s Rights. This march started a movement around the world and steps are being made to create equality. The issues haven’t been fixed. And I doubt when you’re born, there will be any more solutions than what we have now. 
But women are speaking up. As I did on Jan. 21, 2017. 
The night of the march, I left my husband. He was a man who wanted to silence me. He was a man who refused to cherish me. How could I march for women’s rights, human rights, and not stand up for myself? He and I had been trying a long time to start a family. And like a fool, I thought a baby would fix what was broken in our marriage. But I had complications, a miscarriage, and stress. 
It wasn’t until I left him that you became possible. And I thank God, the World, the Cosmos and the March that I did. Because even though I am alone, even though your father wants nothing to do with us, we have each other. We have our family. 
Life will not be easy. But I ask that you be strong. I ask you live life with no regrets. And I ask you to take what you deserve. 
But above all else, I ask that you speak up and demand to be heard. 
Your Mother

IMG_5170Even in Trump’s World, I spoke up. As did my mother. As did so many others. I attended a BBQ recently, and we were all strangers at a roundtable until we shared how the march impacted our lives. And suddenly we were sisters. Suddenly we were connected in ways the Trumps, Weinsteins, and Nassars will never understand.

I still worry about my daughter and the world she’ll grow up in.

I can’t predict the impact a predator president will have on society in ten or twenty years. But just as my mother passed her strength to me, I will do the same for my daughter. And I’ll be damned if I didn’t teach her to fight for what she deserves.

To be heard.

To be cherished.

To be equal.


I am not being paid to promote Andrew Joyner’s The Pink Hat. Just a huge fan! Please buy a copy if you haven’t already from Amazon or Barnes and Noble!

 

 

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